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âYou were never meant to carry the burden of adult battles.â
Dear Son.
Dear Daughter.
Dear Child-now-Grown.
If youâre reading this, then something in you knows.
The pieces donât quite fit. The story you were told feels incomplete.
And somewhere along the line, you started to realise:
You were pushed awayânot naturally, but intentionallyâfrom one of your parents.
Perhaps it was subtle:
A cold silence when their name came up.
A raised eyebrow, a dismissive laugh.
Or worseânothing. Just absence, painted as proof of abandonment.
But let me be clear:
You were never abandoned. You were never the problem. You were never unlovable.
đŁ The Wars You Were Not Meant to Witness
Adults fight battles.
Sometimes with lawyers, sometimes with silence.
Sometimes out of pride, sometimes out of trauma.
But one thing is certain: when a parent uses a child to punish the other, everyone loses.
And yet, you survived it.
You were the collateral in a war you didnât start.
You were weaponised, not because you werenât lovedâ
âbut because the adults didnât know how to love each other, or themselves, properly.
Some parents alienate out of fear.
Others out of control.
But in both cases, itâs a sign of one thing: emotional immaturity disguised as righteousness.
đ§ Children Arenât Stupid â Theyâre Just Forced to Adapt
You werenât stupid.
You were surviving.
You believed what you were told because your world depended on it.
A child is wired to attach to the caregiver whoâs present, even if that caregiver is deeply flawed.
So you adapted. You aligned. You swallowed a version of truth that made your reality less painful.
And now?
Now you see it differently.
Thatâs not betrayal. Thatâs awakening.
Thatâs healing.
You may feel anger.
Thatâs okay.
But donât stay there.
â¤ď¸ You Have Every Right to Grieve â But Donât Stay in Blame
Maybe you were told the other parent didnât care.
That they stopped calling.
That they moved on.
Maybe they made mistakes.
Or maybe they were blocked.
Worn down. Beaten by a system they couldnât fight anymore.
You may never know the full truthâbut you can know this:
You were worthy of love from both parents. Always.
Now that you know better, donât waste your life punishing yourself or staying stuck in blame.
Because the truth is, the best revenge is not angerâitâs wisdom.
Not bitternessâbut building better.
đ¸ Before You Chase Love, Chase Healingâand Then Build
If thereâs one lesson you must take with you from this pain, let it be this:
Heal yourself before you chase love.
Chase stability before chasing romance.
Build your own foundation before sharing it with anyone.
You saw what dysfunction looks like.
You lived the consequences of poor choices, rushed unions, or unhealed adults bringing children into chaos.
Donât repeat that.
Make your pain mean something.
Let it fuel your riseânot your ruin.
Learn to earn.
Learn to trust yourself.
Get your money right. Build a solid foundation. Learn to spot red flagsânot from paranoia, but from experience.
**Donât just fall in loveâ**build a partnership intentionally.
And only thenâwhen itâs solid, reciprocal, and clearâ
Invite children into a story that wonât break them.
đ Donât Recycle the HurtâBreak the Pattern
You are now free to break the cycle.
You do not have to pass on the pain you inherited.
Be the one who says:
âI will not manipulate my child to hurt their other parent.â âI will not confuse love with control.â âI will not bring children into chaos I havenât resolved in myself.â
The past may explain you, but it doesnât have to define you.
What defines you now are the choices you make moving forward.
⨠The Ultimate Revenge: Understanding and Evolving
You may never get the apology you deserve.
You may never get a full account of what happened.
But you donât need it to be free.
Your ultimate revenge?
Living in truth.
Healing yourself.
Building a life with clarity, stability, and conscious love.
Thatâs how you win.
Not by blaming.
Not by hurting back.
But by turning pain into purpose.
âYou do not have to pass on the war your parents fought.
You inherit the power to end it.â
So go build.
Go thrive.
And if you choose to love, love wisely.
And if you choose to parent, parent with peace.
The child in you is finally safe.
The adult in you is finally free.
â With love,
To the you who sees clearly now.