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Because Caring Means Making Yourself Clear

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” — George Bernard Shaw

In a world that speaks so much, it is surprising how little we are truly understood. We send texts, drop voice notes, talk in meetings, vent on social media—but are we really connecting? More importantly, are we making sure that what we say is understood the way we meant it?

That is where intentional communication comes in. Not just speaking, but communicating to be understood.

At its core, this is not a technical skill—it is an act of care.

Communication Is a Bridge, Not a Monologue

Too often, we speak just to express ourselves. We tell our truth, share our thoughts, offload our emotions. That, in itself, isn’t wrong. In fact, self-expression is healthy and necessary. But it becomes a problem when we treat communication as a one-way street.

True communication involves both the transmission of a message and the reception of meaning. What we say only matters if the other person gets it.

“Speak not only to release, but to relate. Say it not just to say it, but to be heard, understood, and felt.”

The moment you shift from “I said it, so I’ve done my part” to “Did they understand it the way I intended?”—you move from ego to empathy.

Caring Means Checking for Clarity

Caring is not just about kindness. It’s about being mindful enough to pause and ask:

“Does what I said make sense to you?” “Can I explain that differently?” “What do you understand from what I’ve said?”

It is about checking for understanding the way a good teacher would. If a child doesn’t understand a math concept, we don’t blame the child—we teach differently. Why should it be any different in adult relationships?

Whether in romantic relationships, parenting, friendships, or professional life—miscommunication is one of the biggest causes of conflict. And most of it stems not from malice, but misunderstanding.

Clarification Is Not Capitulation

Sometimes, we shy away from explaining ourselves further. We think, “If I have to explain myself, maybe I’m not being respected.” But actually, repeating or clarifying yourself isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

It shows you care about the result of your words, not just the effort it took to say them.

In emotionally charged situations, clarification is even more important. A simple “I need space” might mean:

I need to cool down so I don’t say something hurtful, or I want to leave the relationship.

If the listener hears the second meaning when you intended the first, the damage can be significant.

So, clarify your language, especially when emotions are involved:

“When I say I need space, I don’t mean I want to leave—I just need time to think.” “When I say I’m upset, I’m not blaming you—I’m just processing my own feelings.”

These are bridges, not backtracks.

Ask Before You Assume

On the other side of the coin, understanding others requires curiosity.

If someone tells you something that doesn’t sit right, don’t immediately react. Ask:

“What do you mean by that?” “Can you help me understand where you’re coming from?”

We often jump to conclusions based on our own internal dictionary. But the same word can mean vastly different things to different people.

For example:

“Commitment” to one person might mean exclusivity. To another, it might mean marriage. To another, it means being emotionally invested, even in a non-romantic context.

This is why communication is a co-created experience. Both parties have to meet halfway and be willing to explore each other’s meanings.

Emotional Intelligence Is the Secret Sauce

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about managing your own emotions. It’s about being attuned to the emotions of others—to read beyond words and adjust how you communicate accordingly.

It means knowing:

When to explain gently rather than bluntly. When to listen more than speak. When tone, timing, and context change everything.

It also means avoiding weaponised language and overly complex terms when a simple phrase would suffice. The goal is not to impress, but to connect.

Communicating with CARE

Let us propose a little reminder to guide your communication.

Think: C.A.R.E.

C – Consideration: Think about how your message might be received. A – Articulation: Say it clearly and in a way the other person can understand. R – Responsiveness: Adapt if you see confusion, resistance, or hurt. E – Empathy: Feel with the other person. Ask yourself: “If I were them, how would I hear this?”

These four elements form the backbone of compassionate and effective communication.

Final Thoughts: Words Are Seeds

When we speak, we plant seeds in others. Seeds of trust or confusion, of healing or hurt, of clarity or chaos.

Let’s be mindful farmers. Let’s speak to be understood. Let’s ask when we don’t understand. Let’s clarify when we sense we’re not being heard right.

Let’s make the effort.

Because in the end, care is not just how you feel—it’s how you make others feel after you speak.

💬 “Don’t just speak your truth. Make it possible for someone to hear it, feel it, and respond to it.”