Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

“Love is not about how much you say ‘I love you,’ but how much you prove that it’s true.” – Unknown

We throw around the word love far too easily.

In movies, on Instagram, in casual conversations—it’s become shorthand for everything from intense attraction to obsession. But what if we’ve misunderstood love all along?

Love, in its truest form, is not butterflies.

It’s not a fleeting emotion.

It’s not chemistry.

Love is a conscious decision—a set of values lived out daily.

After years of exploring everything from agape to the Five Love Languages, I’ve come to a conclusion that grounds me, and hopefully grounds you too:

👉 True love is built on CARE: Consideration, Acceptance, Respect, and Empathy.

The Problem with Feelings Alone

Science tells us that infatuation typically fades within 12–18 months. That exhilarating rush we associate with being “in love” is a cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin.

Useful? Yes.

Reliable? No.

That initial fire is not designed to last. What’s meant to take over is something far deeper—CARE.

CARE: The True Foundation of Love

💛 Consideration

Care means tuning in.

It’s thinking about your partner’s needs—even when you’re tired. It’s choosing your words wisely. It’s listening before responding.

“Being considerate is not weakness—it’s a conscious act of love.”

💚 Acceptance

You don’t love a fantasy.

You love a human—messy, evolving, imperfect.

Acceptance doesn’t mean complacency; it means embracing the journey with them, not despite them.

“To be loved as you are is the rarest kind of freedom.”

💙 Respect

Respect is the boundary that sustains love.

Without it, love turns into control or neglect. With it, love breathes. Each person feels seen, valued, and safe.

“You can’t love someone you don’t respect.”

❤️ Empathy

Empathy is the soul of CARE.

It’s not just understanding feelings—it’s sharing them. When one suffers, the other leans in. When one celebrates, the other joins the joy.

“Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection.” – Brené Brown

Love Must Be Defined, Not Assumed

Two people can love each other deeply—and still hurt each other endlessly—if they don’t agree on what love means.

That’s why we need frameworks like CARE or the Five Love Languages.

They provide a shared emotional vocabulary.

Without it, we’re just guessing.

From Agape to Action

Agape love—selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial—is beautiful. But even that lofty ideal needs legs. It needs action.

That’s where CARE comes in:

It makes love walk.

It makes love real.

“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” – 1 John 3:18

Final Thought: Choose to CARE, Daily

Love is not something you fall into.

It’s something you grow into—through CARE.

Every single day is an opportunity to:

Consider your partner’s needs. Accept them for who they are becoming. Respect their personhood. Empathise with their experience.

So stop chasing butterflies.

Build a garden.

Because true love doesn’t flutter—it flourishes.